And this is how it ends. My last true post force from me. I am unsure of if I will continue to write, but know for certain that my time her was agony at its worse and simple pain at its best. my life is not writings and documentation, but rather actions and i prefer them that way instead of just endless stress through compelled writing. I'm only glad that I am finally done and weathered the giant. This was not productive is my professional student review. Mostly because I saw no progression, for if there was one, it was a natural increase and not a aplang writing method. I have no faith in blogging and i hope there are only negative reviews. Change the broken system that could easily be cheated.
Before I pass out, in a fetal-like position in my bed, I recant that this year, I started off with purpose and drifted, drifted so amazing far as to get nearly 160 page views on a post about Russian prisons. What is sadder is the next grossing post is entitle ... and is a video of the trolololo song. People don't read this and no classmate will read this (90%) of the time.
Rest assured I enjoyed the course, just not the blogs at all. With this ending information, I trust you all to be true Gentlemen and live life like a walrus, not caring about what anyone thinks about them.
Also, Go Men's Rights!
(likely bye)
-The Observer
May 21, 2012
Reue (Part 3)
There isn't very many qualities that I like about myself and hopefully from this you will learn two things. Be better than some one and don't live life in the mentality that you must put pressure on yourself. Don't live to a point where you feel like you eyes are going to bleed from how late you have to stay up because you cannot focus, your computer is poop and how uncomforting your family is. I feel like two hells and one is just stemming from the frustration that I can't think and type faster.
grades are very important, but what is supremely more important is happiness. YOU WILL NOT BE HAPPY IF YOU DON'T THINK. YOU MUST REALIZE THAT LIFE ISN'T JUST WORK OR SCHOOL. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and then you can sleep, but until then, make sure you don't hate basically every inescapable aspect of your life.
Relax and be happy a lot of the time, work less and try to not worry. I feel like i'm just stating what I wish I could do, but oh well. This year was a metal rod to my head. I have learned a few social life concepts.
First - I really hate how my dad is a lot of the time.
Second - I really hate the way education and politics are in America.
Third - I really hate people sometimes
Fourth - I really love some people sometimes
Fifth - I really hate the internet.
Some days I wonder, what is life really worth?
Religiously I believe that so long as I worship god, I got a purpose, but on many days I put that aside (not permanently) and I just ponder it. I feel like a man on his death bed wondering about the mysteries of the world, remorsing and baiting myself for loathing, hating my actions and loving certain people way to much. Wondering why my social abilities seem so frazzled and lost. On days like today, I wonder what would happen if I died tonight or tomorrow. I know (or hope) that at least someone will be sad for me. From there, some times I feel like the world would be better off. Some times I feel the opposite and some times I feel like nothing will happen. It is no solution though. It is as much of a solution that medication is. It is the same reason that I hate medication in any form. I doesn't treat the problem, just the symptoms. Death is solving pain, a symptom, not the cause.
die Entschuldigung (part two of the installments of The End is Nigh)
But
just when I started making actual money (after numerous expensive
extracurricular activities payments) I started real drama. Prom and the
horrors of what no means is something girls really need to understand.
NO MEANS NO. Manipulating me into it, I went to prom and am still
recovering from how crazy the night was for me mentally. Financially, I
like to tell myself that things will always come up. A nice, fuel
inefficient van really help retain my paychecks, but hey, at least I
have transportation.
I hate rich friends. They ruin everything. When they have everything you want, it is very hard not to be envious, especially when they even have sympathetic parents.
Next on my list of friends that I hate are people who are too pretentious, ignorant, stubborn and so very shallow. You know if this person wasn't stupid in general, I think that we would be better friends... (sadly so, but the closest to the truth that I can get)
I know way to many people who were raped. on further note, why do so many people tell me so much about their lives? I never wanted to know about your sex live, certain co-worker... Also, I've grown tired of stating over and over again, "I don't do that man/bro/girl." It really is a waste of time, money and focus...
I would like to apologize for any excessive rudeness and critical-ness I have shown all the people that I have talked to and would like to say that in a resolution-esqe format, I promise to cut down the meaner parts of my brain. Also, I hope to apologize to those that I have wronged.
You don't know about life until you seen at least a summary of what I've seen is something I like to think. Life is great and the greatness can be lost to a point that life hurts. I remember my friends turning on me, growing distant from some, watching a sister get taken from me and seen a father just disappear. I've shocked myself into a realization that my childhood is no real childhood. I don't remember much truly happy moments.... Sad and ominous I realize, but you have to understand that since my parents have broken p, I have changed, I am much colder and much better at adapting.
I hate rich friends. They ruin everything. When they have everything you want, it is very hard not to be envious, especially when they even have sympathetic parents.
Next on my list of friends that I hate are people who are too pretentious, ignorant, stubborn and so very shallow. You know if this person wasn't stupid in general, I think that we would be better friends... (sadly so, but the closest to the truth that I can get)
I know way to many people who were raped. on further note, why do so many people tell me so much about their lives? I never wanted to know about your sex live, certain co-worker... Also, I've grown tired of stating over and over again, "I don't do that man/bro/girl." It really is a waste of time, money and focus...
I would like to apologize for any excessive rudeness and critical-ness I have shown all the people that I have talked to and would like to say that in a resolution-esqe format, I promise to cut down the meaner parts of my brain. Also, I hope to apologize to those that I have wronged.
You don't know about life until you seen at least a summary of what I've seen is something I like to think. Life is great and the greatness can be lost to a point that life hurts. I remember my friends turning on me, growing distant from some, watching a sister get taken from me and seen a father just disappear. I've shocked myself into a realization that my childhood is no real childhood. I don't remember much truly happy moments.... Sad and ominous I realize, but you have to understand that since my parents have broken p, I have changed, I am much colder and much better at adapting.
feuer pinkeln (the first installment of The End is Nigh)
The time has come that the end is nigh. The next three posts will reflect on the cumulative year and the horrors of the stress that bad computers make. I say the end is here because this is the last week and I am three posts away from completion.
The time that I have spent blogging has been a personal Hell that I can not describing in English. In German it would be "Feuer pinkeln" meaning to pee fire. It was only like this because of the way my schedule works. My divorced parents only complicated the mess, but the fact that I only have one computer that is good for writing blogs and I got the least access to it meant a lot of frustration was waiting. I work a lot. 20-25 hours a week. On top of 35 hours of school a week and activities on the weekend resulting in about 10 more hours gave me no breaks in my 65-70 hour weeks. When I had breaks, I slept. No exceptions. When I had time to write, my mind was blown up. I just worked six hours on top of seven hours of school, why would I want more work? I bit my metaphorical bullet, to only realize that it was anthrax pill, because it made me resent blogs to a point that each blog's theme was about how education was terrible and how blogs are worthless (which I maintain).
The only days that I always had off were Sundays, for good reason. I had church in the morning and in the hours between 12 and 4:30, I did home work. At 5, I was at Upward Bound at Coe College, doing more home work and getting help along with socializing with friends (which my dad and his gf think is something punishable by death). I usually got home with about an hour of home work left. I was tired, but I dragged on to go to bed at about 12 or 1. I then slept till 5:30 whereupon I took a shower and started my week.
Usually, each week, I maintained and increased a massive sleep debt. accompanied by those nights where I was forced to stay up till 3am doing blogs (like tonight/this morning). It really wore me down, especially when all of my friends were doing fine, where as, I was struggling. It wore me down so much that at one time I was in such a severe depression that I did nothing for a week but sit in my room thinking about how absolutely terrible I was and going to work, putting on the false bravado that men must at all times. I sat and listened to how I was stupid and how inconsiderate I was or how I wouldn't "open up." I sat around for those times where my mind would relent on my words that I used and I hurt someone on this very blog. I still feel like I'm a terrible person, but it is easier to maintain my suit of armor now with sleep.
The time that I have spent blogging has been a personal Hell that I can not describing in English. In German it would be "Feuer pinkeln" meaning to pee fire. It was only like this because of the way my schedule works. My divorced parents only complicated the mess, but the fact that I only have one computer that is good for writing blogs and I got the least access to it meant a lot of frustration was waiting. I work a lot. 20-25 hours a week. On top of 35 hours of school a week and activities on the weekend resulting in about 10 more hours gave me no breaks in my 65-70 hour weeks. When I had breaks, I slept. No exceptions. When I had time to write, my mind was blown up. I just worked six hours on top of seven hours of school, why would I want more work? I bit my metaphorical bullet, to only realize that it was anthrax pill, because it made me resent blogs to a point that each blog's theme was about how education was terrible and how blogs are worthless (which I maintain).
The only days that I always had off were Sundays, for good reason. I had church in the morning and in the hours between 12 and 4:30, I did home work. At 5, I was at Upward Bound at Coe College, doing more home work and getting help along with socializing with friends (which my dad and his gf think is something punishable by death). I usually got home with about an hour of home work left. I was tired, but I dragged on to go to bed at about 12 or 1. I then slept till 5:30 whereupon I took a shower and started my week.
Usually, each week, I maintained and increased a massive sleep debt. accompanied by those nights where I was forced to stay up till 3am doing blogs (like tonight/this morning). It really wore me down, especially when all of my friends were doing fine, where as, I was struggling. It wore me down so much that at one time I was in such a severe depression that I did nothing for a week but sit in my room thinking about how absolutely terrible I was and going to work, putting on the false bravado that men must at all times. I sat and listened to how I was stupid and how inconsiderate I was or how I wouldn't "open up." I sat around for those times where my mind would relent on my words that I used and I hurt someone on this very blog. I still feel like I'm a terrible person, but it is easier to maintain my suit of armor now with sleep.
May 15, 2012
Guitars and Short Vindication
 |
| Antique Cigar Box Guitar |
 |
| The guitar that we are modeling ours on. |
Some of the first 'merican guitars, Cigar Box Guitars have a simplistic beauty to them. Over the summer, I plan on making either one of these beauties, or if I get more inspiration and ideas on how to go about it, an acoustic guitar. I've been doing some research and have found the costs and types of materials along with the construction techniques of the trade.
A Cigar Box Guitar is really just a cigar box with a stick on it with some strings.
 |
| A Cigar Box |
The box itself isn't difficult to make and the box can in fact be replicated. The fret board and neck itself constitute the most difficult parts of the guitar to build. The scale length of most guitars is 25.5 inches.
 |
| Just a Fender electric. The scale distance is measured bridge to nut. |
The reason that I am wanting to build this is a sense that I need vindication. I need vindication that what I can do is worthwhile like the machinist in my class, the spiritual giant at church or the bassist that has had gigs since he was 14. I feel like there is this hyped up sensitivity that that I am experiencing from my own mind. I want to make something, no matter how small or large.
I want to do something that is admired and impressive. I want something to my name, so I thought why not now. Mid-Life crisis is hitting early for me I guess, but at least I'm not bald.
May 14, 2012
Igormorais
A small tribute to Igormorais who explains the ideological and physical reasons as to why the Joker won't kill Batman and why Batman won't kill the Joker. A very indepth reasoning of to why Batman makes for a good comic and movie. Hopefully, with this you can understand why the Joker does what he does and why Batman can't kill him.
Igormorais
Igormorais
May 13, 2012
A New Sequel
Remember back in the day when you watched that show called Avatar -- not the last blue people, but the last airbender? I just found out that a new sequel started up a few weeks ago by the name of The Legend of Korra. The episodes so far show of a young girl avatar (maybe 16 or 17) going to a new enormous city made by the last avatar called Republic City. In Republic City, crime is rampant and the descendents of Aang are very few. The major plot lines reside with the main characters being Korra, Mako and Amon. In this advanced industrialized world, the people have created a new sport called pro-bending that is between two bending teams of three benders each, one water, one fire and one earth.
The main two plots so far are of the, as my friend calls is "the love quad-ra-angle" or love square between Korra, Mako, Bolin (Mako's younger brother) and Asami (Some random rich girl that is dating Maku) and the war between the Equalists who want to end bending and the benders who want to have some sort of peace to adhere.
Another few big characters are Tenzin (Airbending master and Korra's mentor) and Chief of Police Lin Beifong. Among these two important characters is Tenzin's political enemy, Tarrlok.
The main martial arts techniques of the first series are essentially the same, but a little lack luster if you ask me. Their is no stylistically impressive master of martial arts in the first show as characterized by the lack of large scale offensive or creative defensive techniques while the fighting in the sequel is very fast past and panoramic, which in my opinion is a bad thing. The moves that are most impressive (maybe purposely) are those executed by the non-bending equalists who are mostly dodging attacks.
The romance side of the story is way to fast paced and the relationship between Korra and Tenzin seems to be built up very weakly. Even though I agree that the romance between Korra, Maku, Bolin and Asami is important it is really degenerating the build up and complexity that The Last Airbender showed. Truthfully, I am optimistic as much as I am pessimistic about the series. The comedic relief that Tenzin's children, Bolin and Pabu create really give off the sense of childish fun of the Last Airbender.
Unfortunately the analogous reoccurring characters that present themselves make me doubt the creativity of the show's writers. Bolin is like Sokka, Pabu and Momo are basically the same creature and Naga and Appa are similar. What makes it seem weak otherwise is how opposite they tried to make some characters. The protagonist is a female and a stubborn, fiery one at that. The romance starts off in the second episode where as in the Last Airbender, it started later (maybe earlier if very subtlety). The composer is the same for the series and minor voice parts in Korra are major ones in Airbender.
Hopefully, the new sequel can live up to the standard that the Last Airbender will make it live up to, because as of now, I'm unsure whether it will be good or not.
-The Observer
 |
| Clearly the way arms bend. |
The main two plots so far are of the, as my friend calls is "the love quad-ra-angle" or love square between Korra, Mako, Bolin (Mako's younger brother) and Asami (Some random rich girl that is dating Maku) and the war between the Equalists who want to end bending and the benders who want to have some sort of peace to adhere.
Another few big characters are Tenzin (Airbending master and Korra's mentor) and Chief of Police Lin Beifong. Among these two important characters is Tenzin's political enemy, Tarrlok.
The main martial arts techniques of the first series are essentially the same, but a little lack luster if you ask me. Their is no stylistically impressive master of martial arts in the first show as characterized by the lack of large scale offensive or creative defensive techniques while the fighting in the sequel is very fast past and panoramic, which in my opinion is a bad thing. The moves that are most impressive (maybe purposely) are those executed by the non-bending equalists who are mostly dodging attacks.
 | |
| Avatar: the Last Airbender - Zuko vs. Azula |
 |
| The Legend of Korra - Korra in Training |
The romance side of the story is way to fast paced and the relationship between Korra and Tenzin seems to be built up very weakly. Even though I agree that the romance between Korra, Maku, Bolin and Asami is important it is really degenerating the build up and complexity that The Last Airbender showed. Truthfully, I am optimistic as much as I am pessimistic about the series. The comedic relief that Tenzin's children, Bolin and Pabu create really give off the sense of childish fun of the Last Airbender.
Unfortunately the analogous reoccurring characters that present themselves make me doubt the creativity of the show's writers. Bolin is like Sokka, Pabu and Momo are basically the same creature and Naga and Appa are similar. What makes it seem weak otherwise is how opposite they tried to make some characters. The protagonist is a female and a stubborn, fiery one at that. The romance starts off in the second episode where as in the Last Airbender, it started later (maybe earlier if very subtlety). The composer is the same for the series and minor voice parts in Korra are major ones in Airbender.
Hopefully, the new sequel can live up to the standard that the Last Airbender will make it live up to, because as of now, I'm unsure whether it will be good or not.
-The Observer
Which church is the right one?
There is something about church hopping/shopping that leaves me uneasy. i go to a new church every weekend in hopes of finding the church that God wants me to go to and I have yet to find it yet. I've been to a Lutheran for my childhood (only on special days), an Evangelical (for about two months), a couple non-denominational, a Presbyterian, a Church of the Nazarene (for about 2 months), a Lutheran-Evangelical, and today I went to a Wesleyan.
I find that in the essence of each church, they are fundamentally the same thing. Each church has nice people. I guarantee it. about 90% of the time in these churches, the congregants will greet you without cue and many of the times that you will go to a church in Iowa, the population of the church isn't very much. The largest service that I have attended has consisted of about roughly 100 people. Most will laugh and wonder how the church still exists, but I've seen a church with just around 40 congregates and still optimistic.
I've always felt terrible when I leave a church and don't feel like the church was the one God wants me to attend. The people are so nice, the message was nice, the atmosphere was nice, I know people there, or maybe I don't, I feel like the people are all happy and confident, I feel obliged to stay, but the relentless battering of the patrons, nice for those who come without a mission is very sickening for me.
I love how nice these people are, but I feel guilty if I don't return there again even if I am certain that my quest is to continue elsewhere. I developed rules to prevent me from feeling over-obligated to going to a certain church.
I find that in the essence of each church, they are fundamentally the same thing. Each church has nice people. I guarantee it. about 90% of the time in these churches, the congregants will greet you without cue and many of the times that you will go to a church in Iowa, the population of the church isn't very much. The largest service that I have attended has consisted of about roughly 100 people. Most will laugh and wonder how the church still exists, but I've seen a church with just around 40 congregates and still optimistic.
I've always felt terrible when I leave a church and don't feel like the church was the one God wants me to attend. The people are so nice, the message was nice, the atmosphere was nice, I know people there, or maybe I don't, I feel like the people are all happy and confident, I feel obliged to stay, but the relentless battering of the patrons, nice for those who come without a mission is very sickening for me.
I love how nice these people are, but I feel guilty if I don't return there again even if I am certain that my quest is to continue elsewhere. I developed rules to prevent me from feeling over-obligated to going to a certain church.
- The first rule is to not go for the people, but rather the word.
- Try hard not to stay past the sermon.
- Don't ever be rude.
- Explain that you are church shopping to the people who greet you.
- Be cautious of the recommendations that you receive to visit other churches.
- Explain that you don't think that the sermon was bad (ever).
May 06, 2012
The War on Men
Today I read a short essay about the lives of men. Men who worked in the era of the feminist movement. This essay was entitled, The Men We Carry in Our Minds by Scott Russell Sanders. Written in 1987, Sanders tells us his experience of men in the world. He starts off with how there are two types. Those who work all their lives under great pressure and strain and die young and those who sit on the top, in comfort. His essay attacks feministic views of masculinity by supporting that men are under pressure their whole lives by society to be a good, rich and powerful man. He is jealous of the women who can stay at home, away from backbreaking labor and suggest that possibly, it is man who is enslaved.
I will say that in my life, is a sense, I have to agree with Sanders. When a man fails, the people he was to be the breadwinner for, just lost income. Even though the thought of being a breadwinner is a little dated, the thoughts that he presents are still relevant. "Only women lived into old age," with how better funded women's health services are, it isn't surprising that men die on average at a younger age. A study was done showing that in California, young boys commit suicide three times as much as young women.
Trying to understand this, I stumbled upon a poet responding to the Miller Lite commercial series "Man Up." This poet talks about how our culture and how it effects young men in their pursuit of happiness. The portrayals of what is and is not masculine are directly trying to show that men are supposed to fit into society and not do anything to be themselves. Masculinity is something that is getting harder and harder to define. When we as a people rose up to give women the vote and rights, it is as if we forgot about equality.
Feminist like to alliterate the thought of feminism to fighting the "War on Women." A commentator speaks on this issue saying that calling their movement a war is similar to calling women innocent of any kind of crime. A survey was taken about what men think are the biggest issues of the Men's Rights Movement and found that from the least to the most the issues of inequality are the thought of male gender roles, negative media portrayal, educational inequalities, gender discriminatory government policies, false accusation treatment, reproductive rights, social stereotypes, anti-male double standards, feminism and father's rights. I doesn't stop at just those things, but as seen in a article done by Dana Commandatore, which recently got some heat on reddit, women can objectify men too.
There is immense pressure on men to be some sort of superhero that doesn't complain or show emotion. They are taught that women should be treated better than themselves such as when you're told by your parents to "never hit a girl." When men do things that are seen as feminine, they are bashed and insulted for doing it. Everyday I get this for working at a sub shop, because I mean, I make sandwiches for money.
Recently a female rapist in Germany is facing charges of sexual assault and illegal restraint for raping two different men at different times. She is described in the article as being a nymphomaniac rather than a rapist and the British website faced huge accusations from Mediate and Reddit for this story.
Unfortunately, the world is not equal and there are double standards and discrimination that hunts down young men. Sexism isn't just done against women, so wake up and be egalitarian.
-The Observer
I will say that in my life, is a sense, I have to agree with Sanders. When a man fails, the people he was to be the breadwinner for, just lost income. Even though the thought of being a breadwinner is a little dated, the thoughts that he presents are still relevant. "Only women lived into old age," with how better funded women's health services are, it isn't surprising that men die on average at a younger age. A study was done showing that in California, young boys commit suicide three times as much as young women.
Trying to understand this, I stumbled upon a poet responding to the Miller Lite commercial series "Man Up." This poet talks about how our culture and how it effects young men in their pursuit of happiness. The portrayals of what is and is not masculine are directly trying to show that men are supposed to fit into society and not do anything to be themselves. Masculinity is something that is getting harder and harder to define. When we as a people rose up to give women the vote and rights, it is as if we forgot about equality.
Feminist like to alliterate the thought of feminism to fighting the "War on Women." A commentator speaks on this issue saying that calling their movement a war is similar to calling women innocent of any kind of crime. A survey was taken about what men think are the biggest issues of the Men's Rights Movement and found that from the least to the most the issues of inequality are the thought of male gender roles, negative media portrayal, educational inequalities, gender discriminatory government policies, false accusation treatment, reproductive rights, social stereotypes, anti-male double standards, feminism and father's rights. I doesn't stop at just those things, but as seen in a article done by Dana Commandatore, which recently got some heat on reddit, women can objectify men too.
There is immense pressure on men to be some sort of superhero that doesn't complain or show emotion. They are taught that women should be treated better than themselves such as when you're told by your parents to "never hit a girl." When men do things that are seen as feminine, they are bashed and insulted for doing it. Everyday I get this for working at a sub shop, because I mean, I make sandwiches for money.
Recently a female rapist in Germany is facing charges of sexual assault and illegal restraint for raping two different men at different times. She is described in the article as being a nymphomaniac rather than a rapist and the British website faced huge accusations from Mediate and Reddit for this story.
Unfortunately, the world is not equal and there are double standards and discrimination that hunts down young men. Sexism isn't just done against women, so wake up and be egalitarian.
-The Observer
April 30, 2012
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